So, I have succumbed and joined the Twitter community which is the latest facebook/myspace phenomenon. I have no idea what all the fuss is about but its been in the media recently; people organising search parties, celebrity stalking and so on.
So I thought it was about time I found out about it, if only so I can say I'm down wiv da kids...
I'll Twitter you all about it later (is that how you use it???)
Friday, March 06, 2009
Who's Watching the Watchmen?
Well I, like so many other fans, certainly will be but comic writing legend and author of the Watchmen wont be. Not now, not ever.
Based on the comic written by Alan Moore, the movie adaptation of the Watchmen is released this weekend and it looks unusually promising. I say unusually, because previous adaptations have been extremely disappointing (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V for Vendetta) and Alan Moore himself hates comic to film adaptations. I once heard him on the radio saying he was so angry at mess that was made of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, that he refused all proceeds from the film and future films, donating the money to charity instead. He was recently interviewed regarding Hollywood's love of comic book movies and this is what he had to say. As you can imagine he pulls no punches, so the squeamish should look away now!
Based on the comic written by Alan Moore, the movie adaptation of the Watchmen is released this weekend and it looks unusually promising. I say unusually, because previous adaptations have been extremely disappointing (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V for Vendetta) and Alan Moore himself hates comic to film adaptations. I once heard him on the radio saying he was so angry at mess that was made of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, that he refused all proceeds from the film and future films, donating the money to charity instead. He was recently interviewed regarding Hollywood's love of comic book movies and this is what he had to say. As you can imagine he pulls no punches, so the squeamish should look away now!
“The main reason why comics can’t work as films is largely because everybody who is ultimately in control of the film industry is an accountant. These people may be able to add up and balance the books, but in every other area they are stupid and incompetent and don’t have any talent. And this is why a film is going to be a work that’s done by dozens and dozens and dozens, if not hundreds of people.They’re going to show it to the backers and then they’re going to say, we want this in it, and this in it... and where’s the monster?”
“We had one particularly dense Hollywood producer say, ‘You don’t even have to do the book, just stick your name on this idea and I’ll make the film and you’ll get a lot of money – it’s… The League Of Extraordinary Animals! It’ll be like Puss In Boots!’ And I just said, 'No, no, no. Never mention this to me again.'”
“There is more integrity in comics. It sounds simplistic, but I believe there is a formula that you can apply to almost any work of modern culture...The more money that’s involved in a project the less imagination there will be in the project, and vice versa. If you've got zero budget, you’re John Waters, you’re Jean Cocteau, you’re going to make a brilliant film.”
“100 million dollars – that’s what they spent on the Watchmen film which nearly didn’t come out because of the lawsuit, that’s what they spent on The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen which shouldn’t have come out but did anyway. Do we need any more shitty films in this world? We have quite enough already. Whereas the 100 million dollars could sort out the civil unrest in Haiti. And the books are always superior, anyway.”
“The League film cost 100 million because Sean Connery wanted 17 million of that - and a bigger explosion that the one he’d had in his last film. It’s in his contract that he has to have a bigger explosion with every film he’s in. In The Rock he’d blown up an island, and he was demanding in The League that he blow up, was it Venice or something like that? It would have been the moon in his next movie.”
“Back when I wrote Watchmen I still trusted the viperous bastards, I had a different feeling about American superhero comics and what they meant. I’ve recently come to the point where I think that basically most American superhero comics, and this is probably a sweeping generalisation, they’re a lot like America’s foreign policy.America has an inordinate fondness for the unfair fight. That’s why I believe guns are so popular in America – because you can ambush people, you can shoot them in the back, you can behave in a very cowardly fashion. Friendly fire, or as we call it everywhere else in the world, American fire.If you’re up there in the stratosphere so that everything on the ground looks like ants, it might be insurgents, it might be an Iraqi wedding party, it might be some English soldiers. There’s that beautiful bit of dialogue from the cockpit video when they say, “You’ve just bombed a load of Brits.” Their pilots say, “Woah, dude, we’re going to jail.” This is the Iraq war, not Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure!I believe that the whole thing about superheroes is they don’t like it up them. They would prefer not to get involved in a fight if they don’t have superior firepower, or they’re invulnerable because they came from the planet Krypton when they were a baby.I genuinely think it’s this squeamishness that’s behind the American superhero myth. It’s the only country where it’s really taken hold. As Brits, we'll go to see American superhero films, just like the rest of the world, but we never really created superheroes of our own.And as Londoners, when we had that little bit of bother on the 7th July 2005 – after America had two big buildings blown up... Terrible shame, but we had a lot more than two buildings blown up during the ‘40s when America was providing most of the munitions to Hitler...But when it happened in England, what was the reaction of the American forces on the 8th of July, as soon as those bombs went off? They pulled the American servicemen outside of the M25, because London was too dangerous for the armed and trained American military men. Then after a few days, they thought, actually, this does look kind of bad, even for America, let’s creep back into London and pretend we’ve been here all the time.”
The hairy beast of a man is obviously very passionate about his creations and rightly so. i just hope that Hollywood hasn't messed this great story up as well. We shall see.
Friday, January 16, 2009
"Move along please sir...
... and sleep it off somewhere else."
This is the greeting I received at the station this morning. "Goodness!" I can hear some of you exclaim, "surely he cant have been pissed so early in the morning?".
Well you are correct. Far from being drunk, I was and in fact still am, suffering from my 2nd batch of flu this year. Having arrived early at the station after dragging my sweaty, shivering carcass out of bed to go to work, I decided to wait in the ever so slightly warmer "waiting room". I had my eyes closed and not long after doing so someone in a Network Southeastern uniform came and attemepted to move me along like a drunk/drugged homeless person.
Clearly I shouldnt be in work...
_
This is the greeting I received at the station this morning. "Goodness!" I can hear some of you exclaim, "surely he cant have been pissed so early in the morning?".
Well you are correct. Far from being drunk, I was and in fact still am, suffering from my 2nd batch of flu this year. Having arrived early at the station after dragging my sweaty, shivering carcass out of bed to go to work, I decided to wait in the ever so slightly warmer "waiting room". I had my eyes closed and not long after doing so someone in a Network Southeastern uniform came and attemepted to move me along like a drunk/drugged homeless person.
Clearly I shouldnt be in work...
_
Monday, May 19, 2008
Crazy Taxi
Well it seems like every post I make is few and far between, always with the same title of: "long time no see".
So I cunningly avoided that this time, by .. wait a sec.. damn, by talking about it I havent avoided anything! Instead I have just rambled on and wasted all our time chatting about nothing in particular. It's like being in a taxi having to make that annoying small talk with the driver, knowing you will never see him again and not really caring about what the latest tragedy in his life of traffic jams is. Speaking of which, you would not believe the cab journey I had the other day...
--- wibbly lines cross the screen and the image fades to 18:27 outside the front doors of Green Fields offices ---
Exiting the building is me, looking tired but with a hint of relief at it being the end of the day, at the end of the week. I'm carrying a box and making my way to a large black car.
"ello boss, jus' tha one box is it?" The cab driver said in a very thick Pakistani accent.
"huh? Oh, um.. yes. Thanks. Shall I put it in the back?" I say.
The cab driver opens the boot and I slide the box in before climbing into the back seat, fully prepared to doze off until I get home.
"bad traffic this way boss. I'll try and go down this road instead k?"
"err ok" I say, thinking all the while - I dont care, so long as its the right direction just go!
I should point out at this point that I would normally be on a train in a mild coma by this point on my journey home. Holding a conversation was proving to be a tad difficult but the guy was persistant, boy, was he persistant.
"not a bad area round here boss, expensive though is it? This where you work is it boss?"
Too many questions for me.. I made some vague responses and there was silence. Then I make a fatally stupid error and ask "So you got a long shift tonight?" Stupid! Oh my god, what have I done? What on earth possesed me to say that? Sagging a little I resign myself to the fact that there will be no stopping him now.
"yes boss, 5 till 5. Started at 5pm, finish at 5am, then I have to go home; I live in High Wycombe; and start my other job as a postman at 6am."
Annoyed at myself I still cant help but fuel the fire. " You have two jobs? Sheesh, when do you sleep?"
"Well boss" he says, "I finish at about 11am then I have about 4 hours sleep before starting here again. Except on Sundays that is boss. On Sundays I just sleep all day." He pauses before adding "Unless the kids wake me".
I dont know whats wrong with me, its like I'm on an icy hillside sliding down towards the motorway at the bottom, but still I continue. "Two kids huh? must be tough"
He chuckles and continues with "Yes boss, can be... It is my sons birthday in June, he will be five. No wait four. No, no, no he will be five in June. My Daughter she will be ten in June. Do you have children boss?"
"Not me" I say. "not yet anyway"
I settle back into the chair, mind wondering aimlessly as Clapham Common slides past. But I'm brought back soon enough. "So what do you think about London then boss? You like living here? Whats it like where you live then? Is it nice boss? What do you think of Bracknel, Bracknel is a nice place, not quite as nice as Marlowe but then Marlow is very expensive isnt it boss? I dont like to live in London boss, I like it out in High Wycombe. I like the quiet innit boss?"
Slightly stunned by this barrage, I sidestep it all by asking how long he has been in the UK for, all the while inwardly cursing myself for getting involved at all.
"Oh I been here for 7 years now innit boss. I was a very successfull businessman in Pakistan with a 12 bedroom house, 3 cars and a driver. My brother and father are there doing very well, but I sold up and with £25,000 came over here to start my own business selling used cars. But it didnt work to well is it boss and so now I do this an the postman job."
"Dont you want to go back home?" I ask
"Yes boss but my wife, she dont like to go back for long times. She likes holidays there but she is from here innit. Her mother and father are here so she doesnt want to go."
I've got some kind of disease. I say "I'd love to go and see more of the world." What the bloody hell was that?! Why am I opening another avenue of conversation?
"Oh boss, Pakistan is amazing. There is this valley; and I'm not lying or making it up when I say this; that is so beautiful. you would think it was paradise my friend." When did I become 'friend' and not 'boss'? "There are a few English out there boss" ahh back too 'boss' now.
"Really?" I mumble
"Yes boss, the doctor told them they needed to be somewhere warm for some skin condition or something" Oh my, how lovely. Thanks for sharing that. "not that its that warm. In fact in the winter we get more snow than you do boss. Very cold it gets. Very Cold. Seventeen feet of snow last year boss."
Tooting Bec Lido slips by my window and I remember diving into the freezing water one summer when I was a kid. I must have missed something that he had been saying because now he is talking about how important it is to look after your parents and that not enough people do.
"so my daughter was going to all these Christmas parties; we're Muslims but you know..."
"of course, its hard for children when all their firends are having parties and stuff" I say
"Yes boss, we're Muslims" Still? And I thought you may have converted since you last told me. "and there was this old lady on my post round that would always be asking if she had any letters from America. Her daughters live there boss, but they dont write to her you see boss?" I sat there trying to remembr the last time I had written a letter to anyone. "So last Christmas, and we're Muslims" Thanks I got that "we took her round to our house and she was really happy innit boss. She made cake and had a really good time she said. And we're Muslims"
"yes" I agree, "it's important to look after the older generation, and I don't think religion should be anything to do with basic human kindness" Am I getting into a religious debate with a cab driver?
Well whatever it is my philisophical friend agrees. "Thats right boss, thats right"
There is a long period of silence as we approach Crystal Palace and I begin to think that he has exhausted himself. After all, he cant possibly go through all this with each client can he? Could he really? Surely it would be tiring for him as well wouldnt it? I wonder what time I will get home tonight? Will I get home earlier than if I was on the train? I wonder if I could drive into work... That is a disgusting coloured car, what's that dog doing does he have an owner? look at the state of this high street I cant believe it's still as bad as this around here.
Then breaking my reverie the cab driver hesitantly asks: "Boss, can I ask you a question? Dont be offended by it" what the hell are you going to ask me that I would be offended??? " but what do you think about the September eleven Amreican thing?"
I have to admit, it took me a little while for what he was asking to sink in but when it did I realised pretty quickly that I ought to be fairly diplomatic here, especially until I figure out what he really thinks about the whole thing. "Umm, in what sense exactly?" that ought to buy me some time even if it does make me look a bit dense.
"Well boss, I mean do you think it really happened?" Oh no... I sense a conspiracy theory looming. "You know what I mean boss? You think it really happened or did America want to go to war?" oh this is bad, where are we? Crystal Palace Parade, five minutes left of the journey...
I take a breath and say "Well, who can really say for certain? I dont think anyone really knows what happened exactly, but I doubt any country would do that to themselves. Do i think it was islaamic extremists? Probably. Do I think America's wars were entirely justifiable? Maybe not." damn it I'm now talking politics and religion at the same time. I am willing the journey to come to an end. This is getting weird.
He looks up at me in his rearview mirror and says, "Boss, did you know that on any normal day there were over 25,000 jews working in the buildings, in the what do you call them? The Towers. The Twin Towers. But on that day there were none. What does that make you think boss?" and there we have it the conspiracy theory. The theory that Israel did it to provoke war. It's not even a new theory. And frankly its the weakest of them all.
"Yeah I've heard that. But it seems unlikely to me" I say. I deliberately cutting it short, not wanting it to go any further.
Not so long after, we are are approaching Beckenham and I'm nearly home. "Nice this place boss, what are the people like here? Are they nice boss? Are they mostly English?"
"um yes I suppose they are mostly English, though I dont think thats nescessarily a good thing." I say, wondering where this is leading.
"Its good boss, I think there are too many foreigners coming in boss, they bring an area down innit"
Has he forgotten where he is from? "umm how long did you say you have you been in the UK?" I ask.
"Oh about seven years now boss." So at what point did you decide to close the door behind you? I think to myself. Then I realise where we are and escape is suddenly a definate possibility. "Aha this is me. Thanks very much, how much does that come to?"
I pay him, grab my box from the back and I'm home. I think I am more tired than I was when I left work an hour or so ago.
--- wibbly lines cross the screen and the image fades back to the here and now ---
Wow that was much longer than I expected it to be! But I had to let you know about my bizzarre journey. I bet your still wondering what was in the box arnt you? heheheh
So I cunningly avoided that this time, by .. wait a sec.. damn, by talking about it I havent avoided anything! Instead I have just rambled on and wasted all our time chatting about nothing in particular. It's like being in a taxi having to make that annoying small talk with the driver, knowing you will never see him again and not really caring about what the latest tragedy in his life of traffic jams is. Speaking of which, you would not believe the cab journey I had the other day...
--- wibbly lines cross the screen and the image fades to 18:27 outside the front doors of Green Fields offices ---
Exiting the building is me, looking tired but with a hint of relief at it being the end of the day, at the end of the week. I'm carrying a box and making my way to a large black car.
"ello boss, jus' tha one box is it?" The cab driver said in a very thick Pakistani accent.
"huh? Oh, um.. yes. Thanks. Shall I put it in the back?" I say.
The cab driver opens the boot and I slide the box in before climbing into the back seat, fully prepared to doze off until I get home.
"bad traffic this way boss. I'll try and go down this road instead k?"
"err ok" I say, thinking all the while - I dont care, so long as its the right direction just go!
I should point out at this point that I would normally be on a train in a mild coma by this point on my journey home. Holding a conversation was proving to be a tad difficult but the guy was persistant, boy, was he persistant.
"not a bad area round here boss, expensive though is it? This where you work is it boss?"
Too many questions for me.. I made some vague responses and there was silence. Then I make a fatally stupid error and ask "So you got a long shift tonight?" Stupid! Oh my god, what have I done? What on earth possesed me to say that? Sagging a little I resign myself to the fact that there will be no stopping him now.
"yes boss, 5 till 5. Started at 5pm, finish at 5am, then I have to go home; I live in High Wycombe; and start my other job as a postman at 6am."
Annoyed at myself I still cant help but fuel the fire. " You have two jobs? Sheesh, when do you sleep?"
"Well boss" he says, "I finish at about 11am then I have about 4 hours sleep before starting here again. Except on Sundays that is boss. On Sundays I just sleep all day." He pauses before adding "Unless the kids wake me".
I dont know whats wrong with me, its like I'm on an icy hillside sliding down towards the motorway at the bottom, but still I continue. "Two kids huh? must be tough"
He chuckles and continues with "Yes boss, can be... It is my sons birthday in June, he will be five. No wait four. No, no, no he will be five in June. My Daughter she will be ten in June. Do you have children boss?"
"Not me" I say. "not yet anyway"
I settle back into the chair, mind wondering aimlessly as Clapham Common slides past. But I'm brought back soon enough. "So what do you think about London then boss? You like living here? Whats it like where you live then? Is it nice boss? What do you think of Bracknel, Bracknel is a nice place, not quite as nice as Marlowe but then Marlow is very expensive isnt it boss? I dont like to live in London boss, I like it out in High Wycombe. I like the quiet innit boss?"
Slightly stunned by this barrage, I sidestep it all by asking how long he has been in the UK for, all the while inwardly cursing myself for getting involved at all.
"Oh I been here for 7 years now innit boss. I was a very successfull businessman in Pakistan with a 12 bedroom house, 3 cars and a driver. My brother and father are there doing very well, but I sold up and with £25,000 came over here to start my own business selling used cars. But it didnt work to well is it boss and so now I do this an the postman job."
"Dont you want to go back home?" I ask
"Yes boss but my wife, she dont like to go back for long times. She likes holidays there but she is from here innit. Her mother and father are here so she doesnt want to go."
I've got some kind of disease. I say "I'd love to go and see more of the world." What the bloody hell was that?! Why am I opening another avenue of conversation?
"Oh boss, Pakistan is amazing. There is this valley; and I'm not lying or making it up when I say this; that is so beautiful. you would think it was paradise my friend." When did I become 'friend' and not 'boss'? "There are a few English out there boss" ahh back too 'boss' now.
"Really?" I mumble
"Yes boss, the doctor told them they needed to be somewhere warm for some skin condition or something" Oh my, how lovely. Thanks for sharing that. "not that its that warm. In fact in the winter we get more snow than you do boss. Very cold it gets. Very Cold. Seventeen feet of snow last year boss."
Tooting Bec Lido slips by my window and I remember diving into the freezing water one summer when I was a kid. I must have missed something that he had been saying because now he is talking about how important it is to look after your parents and that not enough people do.
"so my daughter was going to all these Christmas parties; we're Muslims but you know..."
"of course, its hard for children when all their firends are having parties and stuff" I say
"Yes boss, we're Muslims" Still? And I thought you may have converted since you last told me. "and there was this old lady on my post round that would always be asking if she had any letters from America. Her daughters live there boss, but they dont write to her you see boss?" I sat there trying to remembr the last time I had written a letter to anyone. "So last Christmas, and we're Muslims" Thanks I got that "we took her round to our house and she was really happy innit boss. She made cake and had a really good time she said. And we're Muslims"
"yes" I agree, "it's important to look after the older generation, and I don't think religion should be anything to do with basic human kindness" Am I getting into a religious debate with a cab driver?
Well whatever it is my philisophical friend agrees. "Thats right boss, thats right"
There is a long period of silence as we approach Crystal Palace and I begin to think that he has exhausted himself. After all, he cant possibly go through all this with each client can he? Could he really? Surely it would be tiring for him as well wouldnt it? I wonder what time I will get home tonight? Will I get home earlier than if I was on the train? I wonder if I could drive into work... That is a disgusting coloured car, what's that dog doing does he have an owner? look at the state of this high street I cant believe it's still as bad as this around here.
Then breaking my reverie the cab driver hesitantly asks: "Boss, can I ask you a question? Dont be offended by it" what the hell are you going to ask me that I would be offended??? " but what do you think about the September eleven Amreican thing?"
I have to admit, it took me a little while for what he was asking to sink in but when it did I realised pretty quickly that I ought to be fairly diplomatic here, especially until I figure out what he really thinks about the whole thing. "Umm, in what sense exactly?" that ought to buy me some time even if it does make me look a bit dense.
"Well boss, I mean do you think it really happened?" Oh no... I sense a conspiracy theory looming. "You know what I mean boss? You think it really happened or did America want to go to war?" oh this is bad, where are we? Crystal Palace Parade, five minutes left of the journey...
I take a breath and say "Well, who can really say for certain? I dont think anyone really knows what happened exactly, but I doubt any country would do that to themselves. Do i think it was islaamic extremists? Probably. Do I think America's wars were entirely justifiable? Maybe not." damn it I'm now talking politics and religion at the same time. I am willing the journey to come to an end. This is getting weird.
He looks up at me in his rearview mirror and says, "Boss, did you know that on any normal day there were over 25,000 jews working in the buildings, in the what do you call them? The Towers. The Twin Towers. But on that day there were none. What does that make you think boss?" and there we have it the conspiracy theory. The theory that Israel did it to provoke war. It's not even a new theory. And frankly its the weakest of them all.
"Yeah I've heard that. But it seems unlikely to me" I say. I deliberately cutting it short, not wanting it to go any further.
Not so long after, we are are approaching Beckenham and I'm nearly home. "Nice this place boss, what are the people like here? Are they nice boss? Are they mostly English?"
"um yes I suppose they are mostly English, though I dont think thats nescessarily a good thing." I say, wondering where this is leading.
"Its good boss, I think there are too many foreigners coming in boss, they bring an area down innit"
Has he forgotten where he is from? "umm how long did you say you have you been in the UK?" I ask.
"Oh about seven years now boss." So at what point did you decide to close the door behind you? I think to myself. Then I realise where we are and escape is suddenly a definate possibility. "Aha this is me. Thanks very much, how much does that come to?"
I pay him, grab my box from the back and I'm home. I think I am more tired than I was when I left work an hour or so ago.
--- wibbly lines cross the screen and the image fades back to the here and now ---
Wow that was much longer than I expected it to be! But I had to let you know about my bizzarre journey. I bet your still wondering what was in the box arnt you? heheheh
Friday, May 25, 2007
Back from France and tired of cheese...
I know what your thinking but it's true; I am sick of cheese. Yes sick of cheese and sick of baguette's. I'm sick of cheesy baguette's and croque monsieur's (actually, I never liked them... way to wet and French like for my tastes).
But despite all that, I'd still rather be there then here at work...
I suppose I should tell you why we were in France in the first place shouldn't I? Well, Nikala's brother Aaron and his fiance Katie were getting married, fortunately they had got the professionals in to sort it all out...
... I'm lying of course.
A few months ago, when Aaron and Katie got back from holiday and we all saw the glittering ring on her finger, Nikala jumped up and offered her help (as any discerning sister would I'm sure). Oh yes, Nikala offered to design and make the tiara, the veil and decorate the wedding cake; none of which she had done before. Still, she is a fantastic designer and we all had faith in her. of course that started to wane on the night before we were due to leave at 4am to go to France for the wedding when Nikala decided that the veil wasn't right and a new one must be made then and there despite the fact that the bride to be was already delighted with the first one. Thank goodness the tiara had been a triumph! (still a little worried about the cake at this point but I didn't want to rock the boat).
We arrived in France, the veil was loved (the new one too), the tiara was looking fabulous and everyone said Nikala should go into business making them (an idea I fully support by the way!), then we were introduced to the cake. Nikala and Aaron's dad had made this cake which was stunning to say the least. Clive (Nikala's dad) is well known for his fruit cakes, enormous quantities of alcohol are usually soaked into it well in advance, but this was a surprise...
The cake was made up of three layers. The bottom layer alone took twenty seven hours to cook and weighed about 35lbs! and there were another two layers to go on top of it.... how on earth were we going to make this look like the tiny picture Katie had given us of the Mexican looking cake she wanted?
Right, lets at least get the white icing bit on.
Day before the wedding. We make the white fondant icing (yes I know all the types of icing now). We could have bought icing with us but we had been told all the ingredients were there. no problemo, the icing is made... tastes a bit odd though..weird. Aha! the liquid glucose is honey flavoured, that wont do at all! OK so in the UK for some odd reason (something to do with cough medicine apparently) you can only buy this stuff in chemists; of course being France nothing was open... it was a bank holiday and lunchtime to boot. Right we would have to go first thing in the morning, the wedding wasn't until 4pm anyway, we would be fine. Of course we still had 58 daisies to cut out of marzipan, we weren't panicking at all... oh no... not one bit... gulp.
Oh joy! What amazing luck! the daisy cutter was in fact a big pile of feculent maggot crap and didn't work! BumArse (that became the expletive of the week)! What were we going to do? there was nothing for it, I had to cut them out by hand. I knew when Nikala offered to decorate the cake that I would end up losing hair over it.
Wedding day. No icing on cake. Marzipan daisies drying on plates all over the kitchen. Alarm at 06:30.
OK we were up, we were off to get liquid glucose. We were spurned at every chemist around and sent to the supermarkets, whom also had no liquid glucose. BumArse. OK panicking we drive back to the house, four hours wasted looking for that stuff! One of Clive's friends had arrived to say hello, what a godsend! It only turns out he was a master baker 20 years ago! He whipped up some royal icing and iced all 3 layers in about 45 minutes flat... phew! Now all we had to do was paint he marzipan flowers and stick them on the sides of the cake. Easy.
Except as soon as you touched the flowers they turned to dust.
Well the petals all broke off and then we were in bits too... Nikala was pulling random ludicrous ideas out of thin air that were totally unfeasible but sounding like much better options than the one we had, but none of them were what the bride and groom wanted. There was only one option, I had to painstakingly build each flower petal by petal on the cake... and you know what? it looked pretty damn good by the end... from a distance... BumArse.
But despite all that, I'd still rather be there then here at work...
I suppose I should tell you why we were in France in the first place shouldn't I? Well, Nikala's brother Aaron and his fiance Katie were getting married, fortunately they had got the professionals in to sort it all out...
... I'm lying of course.
A few months ago, when Aaron and Katie got back from holiday and we all saw the glittering ring on her finger, Nikala jumped up and offered her help (as any discerning sister would I'm sure). Oh yes, Nikala offered to design and make the tiara, the veil and decorate the wedding cake; none of which she had done before. Still, she is a fantastic designer and we all had faith in her. of course that started to wane on the night before we were due to leave at 4am to go to France for the wedding when Nikala decided that the veil wasn't right and a new one must be made then and there despite the fact that the bride to be was already delighted with the first one. Thank goodness the tiara had been a triumph! (still a little worried about the cake at this point but I didn't want to rock the boat).
We arrived in France, the veil was loved (the new one too), the tiara was looking fabulous and everyone said Nikala should go into business making them (an idea I fully support by the way!), then we were introduced to the cake. Nikala and Aaron's dad had made this cake which was stunning to say the least. Clive (Nikala's dad) is well known for his fruit cakes, enormous quantities of alcohol are usually soaked into it well in advance, but this was a surprise...
The cake was made up of three layers. The bottom layer alone took twenty seven hours to cook and weighed about 35lbs! and there were another two layers to go on top of it.... how on earth were we going to make this look like the tiny picture Katie had given us of the Mexican looking cake she wanted?
Right, lets at least get the white icing bit on.
Day before the wedding. We make the white fondant icing (yes I know all the types of icing now). We could have bought icing with us but we had been told all the ingredients were there. no problemo, the icing is made... tastes a bit odd though..weird. Aha! the liquid glucose is honey flavoured, that wont do at all! OK so in the UK for some odd reason (something to do with cough medicine apparently) you can only buy this stuff in chemists; of course being France nothing was open... it was a bank holiday and lunchtime to boot. Right we would have to go first thing in the morning, the wedding wasn't until 4pm anyway, we would be fine. Of course we still had 58 daisies to cut out of marzipan, we weren't panicking at all... oh no... not one bit... gulp.
Oh joy! What amazing luck! the daisy cutter was in fact a big pile of feculent maggot crap and didn't work! BumArse (that became the expletive of the week)! What were we going to do? there was nothing for it, I had to cut them out by hand. I knew when Nikala offered to decorate the cake that I would end up losing hair over it.
Wedding day. No icing on cake. Marzipan daisies drying on plates all over the kitchen. Alarm at 06:30.
OK we were up, we were off to get liquid glucose. We were spurned at every chemist around and sent to the supermarkets, whom also had no liquid glucose. BumArse. OK panicking we drive back to the house, four hours wasted looking for that stuff! One of Clive's friends had arrived to say hello, what a godsend! It only turns out he was a master baker 20 years ago! He whipped up some royal icing and iced all 3 layers in about 45 minutes flat... phew! Now all we had to do was paint he marzipan flowers and stick them on the sides of the cake. Easy.
Except as soon as you touched the flowers they turned to dust.
Well the petals all broke off and then we were in bits too... Nikala was pulling random ludicrous ideas out of thin air that were totally unfeasible but sounding like much better options than the one we had, but none of them were what the bride and groom wanted. There was only one option, I had to painstakingly build each flower petal by petal on the cake... and you know what? it looked pretty damn good by the end... from a distance... BumArse.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Man down!
Well what a horrible thing to do...
I just had to fire one of my team, not a nice thing to do at any time, but this was the first firing I have had to do personally. Not that he didn't have it coming mind you, the guy was consistently late and calling in sick and just generally unreliable. In a support industry you just cant have that, our clients rely upon us being there and they never knew what was going on with their queries as we never knew when he would be in... but still not a nice thing to do to anyone.
Actually this is the first time I've had that conversation from either side so it was particularly hard as I had no inkling of what to say having never had it said to me, so I kept it short and sweet... well maybe sweet isn't the word... short and brutal would probably be more accurate!
Still, I imagine its like killing a man... it's never pleasant but it gets easier each time...
Oddly my working relationship with him started when I shot him in a high noon style shootout when we went paint balling with company... we were duelling to see who got to keep James as our name in the workplace... the loser had to adopt a girls name...
R.I.P. Becca
Here is a picture of Jim when we made him go bling (made him a target) for the paint balling.. oh happy days! (Is it wrong of me to reminisce about shooting an employee?)
Incidentally look out for my new blog: 1001 Excuses to skive off work - the Jim Blog
I just had to fire one of my team, not a nice thing to do at any time, but this was the first firing I have had to do personally. Not that he didn't have it coming mind you, the guy was consistently late and calling in sick and just generally unreliable. In a support industry you just cant have that, our clients rely upon us being there and they never knew what was going on with their queries as we never knew when he would be in... but still not a nice thing to do to anyone.
Actually this is the first time I've had that conversation from either side so it was particularly hard as I had no inkling of what to say having never had it said to me, so I kept it short and sweet... well maybe sweet isn't the word... short and brutal would probably be more accurate!
Still, I imagine its like killing a man... it's never pleasant but it gets easier each time...
Oddly my working relationship with him started when I shot him in a high noon style shootout when we went paint balling with company... we were duelling to see who got to keep James as our name in the workplace... the loser had to adopt a girls name...
R.I.P. Becca
Here is a picture of Jim when we made him go bling (made him a target) for the paint balling.. oh happy days! (Is it wrong of me to reminisce about shooting an employee?)
Incidentally look out for my new blog: 1001 Excuses to skive off work - the Jim Blog
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Dear diary...
Something thats always sat at the back of my mind was, well is: does anyone actually read this blog or is it purely me rambling off a bunch of random thoughts? I guess what I'm asking is whether this is being read by the masses (hi mum) or if this is just a glorified digital diary? Though I've got to say your feedback has been fantastic! Only the other day I was saying to myself, you know what James, that blog of yours is alright actually. This was acceptable as I was at home alone at the time and you are considered perfectly sane if you only talk to yourself in the confines of your own home. Of course things slip and occasionally I do find myself chuckling to a joke I just told myself at the bustop... eh whats that? No they dont need to know about that, shhh!
Anyway I invite you all to comment on any post you feel like... go on make me happy!
Irritatingly my personal email has been playing up recently. It's my useless ISP; I'm thinking of chucking them and going for another, of course this means changing my email address which is a pain.
I should really gt back to work... I am a manager after all and should lead by... wait I AM a manager after all and should darn well be able to do what I like! Do what I say not what I do damnit! Ahh the sweet sweet look of fear in their worked to hard eyes... nothing like the smell of despair.
Anyway I invite you all to comment on any post you feel like... go on make me happy!
Irritatingly my personal email has been playing up recently. It's my useless ISP; I'm thinking of chucking them and going for another, of course this means changing my email address which is a pain.
I should really gt back to work... I am a manager after all and should lead by... wait I AM a manager after all and should darn well be able to do what I like! Do what I say not what I do damnit! Ahh the sweet sweet look of fear in their worked to hard eyes... nothing like the smell of despair.
Long time no see everybody!
Well yes I know... it's been a long time, and I've been lazy...
So now I'm thinking, do i just blurt out everything thats happened in the last year since last we spoke? Or should I tease it out, so it looks like I loads to say over the next several days...
Lets face it, if I dont tell all now it might be another year before you hear from me again, so here we go...
So, new job. yup I now manage a team of IT engineers for a company based in Putney in London... but thats work and thats quite enough of that.
You may remember way back in May last year, I was talking about my band? No? Well scroll down a bit you lazy b4st@rds! Anyway, I'm sad to say that the band is no more... well thats not entirely true the band is definately alive, just not in its original form. Yes thats right With Neil (founding bassist) working hard down under (I'm pretty certain he's only working hard on his tan) we have had to turn elsewhere. Where better than our good friend, local pub landlord, and sometime band photographer! Yep, Simon Spiken joined forces and once again we were all "workShy". Shortly after we were also joined by Charlie whom had on occasion joined us for a spot on the stage. We were now a four-piece. But enough about that! If you want to read more about the band go here: www.myspace.com/workshytheband and yes the writing style of the band blog may feel very familiar as it is indeed yours truely. oh one more thing about the band whilst I remember, we have another gig coming up and you are all more than welcome, details are on the aforementioned website as is a demo (gulp).
I have also been asked to sing in another band.. very tempting. I havent decided yet and of course you will be the first to know the outcome. If I do it certainly doesnt mean the end of workShy, just something else.
We have builders coming in next week to gut and redo our bathroom. I've got to admit I am pretty excited by this, it marks a turning point in the completion of our flat. That said I am also fairly apprehensive of this work as due to some spectacular planning (we have no kitchen currently) we will be with out water for a few days (remember... no kitchen, and I'm including the sink there!)... I did have one thought which I am undoubtably going to go to Hell for, let me fill you in...
Ok so you have the big picture I need to go back a few weeks/months (I cant remember the exact timeline), oh hang on... I think this deserves an entire posting of its own. so to cut a long story short, our neighbour fell and broke her hip a few weeks ago... leaving her flat empty... am I bad for hoping she will stay in hosptial another week or so? I mean theres free running water going towaste over there and we have been taking care of her cat for her....
Is it so wrong... it is isnt it? Damnit theres something wrong with me, can I justify it by the fact that the builders are going to need copious cups of tea and the water has to come from somewhere... I'll be quiet now...
So now I'm thinking, do i just blurt out everything thats happened in the last year since last we spoke? Or should I tease it out, so it looks like I loads to say over the next several days...
Lets face it, if I dont tell all now it might be another year before you hear from me again, so here we go...
So, new job. yup I now manage a team of IT engineers for a company based in Putney in London... but thats work and thats quite enough of that.
You may remember way back in May last year, I was talking about my band? No? Well scroll down a bit you lazy b4st@rds! Anyway, I'm sad to say that the band is no more... well thats not entirely true the band is definately alive, just not in its original form. Yes thats right With Neil (founding bassist) working hard down under (I'm pretty certain he's only working hard on his tan) we have had to turn elsewhere. Where better than our good friend, local pub landlord, and sometime band photographer! Yep, Simon Spiken joined forces and once again we were all "workShy". Shortly after we were also joined by Charlie whom had on occasion joined us for a spot on the stage. We were now a four-piece. But enough about that! If you want to read more about the band go here: www.myspace.com/workshytheband and yes the writing style of the band blog may feel very familiar as it is indeed yours truely. oh one more thing about the band whilst I remember, we have another gig coming up and you are all more than welcome, details are on the aforementioned website as is a demo (gulp).
I have also been asked to sing in another band.. very tempting. I havent decided yet and of course you will be the first to know the outcome. If I do it certainly doesnt mean the end of workShy, just something else.
We have builders coming in next week to gut and redo our bathroom. I've got to admit I am pretty excited by this, it marks a turning point in the completion of our flat. That said I am also fairly apprehensive of this work as due to some spectacular planning (we have no kitchen currently) we will be with out water for a few days (remember... no kitchen, and I'm including the sink there!)... I did have one thought which I am undoubtably going to go to Hell for, let me fill you in...
Ok so you have the big picture I need to go back a few weeks/months (I cant remember the exact timeline), oh hang on... I think this deserves an entire posting of its own. so to cut a long story short, our neighbour fell and broke her hip a few weeks ago... leaving her flat empty... am I bad for hoping she will stay in hosptial another week or so? I mean theres free running water going towaste over there and we have been taking care of her cat for her....
Is it so wrong... it is isnt it? Damnit theres something wrong with me, can I justify it by the fact that the builders are going to need copious cups of tea and the water has to come from somewhere... I'll be quiet now...
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Saving Private Reilly
Another morning, another old DVD to watch; it was war films today so I thought I'd start with Saving Private Ryan on of my favourites. I was about halfway though it, when Tom Hanks and his squad are halfway across France looking for Ryan when I realised how stiflingly hot it was in the flat and not to mention how hungry I was. Now by this time I was sick of toast. I had it for breakfast, I had it for lunch, for days and days. It was time for a shopping trip.
(Edit - 26/05/09 - it should be mentioned that I was having a break from emplyment at the time. Hence the toast diet. )
So thats how I found myself out in Beckenham paying the council tax and stuff, you know, the chores on the list I had woken up to find next to my face, thanks Nik. Well it looked nice out, it was sunny and hot, and I mean baking! The flat was always so sauna-like so I thought I'd get the list done and out of the way as well. The sky was blue with not a cloud in sight when I popped into Sainsbury's to get a few bits; however, when I came out the heavens had opened and it was absolutely bucketing down and I'm talking rivers in the road, thunder and lightening type of rain here. So there I was sheltering from the downpour with about half a dozen other slightly damp shoppers just outside of Sainsbury's, wishing I had in fact parked in the Sainsbury's car park instead of in the high street parking space (at the time it had been crucial to my carefully laid out shopping route so as to avoid unnecessary walking to and fro). I looked out towards the car, it wasn't far, just about fifty meters or so maybe I could run for it? More people joined us and it was clear that even a couple of seconds was enough to soak them not to mention I would probably fall over in my stupid flip-flops. No I would have to wait out the worst of it like everyone else, trouble was that I only had a few minutes before the parking meter ran out and I was supposed to be meeting a friend for lunch just down the road. The dilemma was actually a point of excitement for me, after all I had been in the house for months now with only a handful of ventures out into the wildlands of Beckenham. Well that did it, it was decided, I was going to make a dash for it!
Then all of a sudden, there was a flash and the loudest bang I have ever heard (it sounded like a bomb!), and the chimney on the building next to us exploded! I made it all of about 5 yards out of the shelter and turned back, bits of masonry falling around me, people screaming, bullets shrieking over head... Well ok so there may not have been anyone shooting but I had just been watching Saving Private Ryan again that morning remember and the similarity in my mind was uncanny!
Anyway, the lightening had struck not 20 feet away hitting the chimney (which really did explode) and not only that but the power of it also made the little children's pay for a ride on the plastic horse thing start by itself... spooky! So we are all standing there nervously laughing with bits of chimney falling around us, the plastic horse galloping on the spot with no rider and a river passing by in front of us. Surely only the most efficient of parking wardens would be out in that wouldn't they? I had no choice but to clutch my shopping and press my back against the cash machine so as to avoid the water blowing in and wait it out.
Eventually it subsided a little so I made that dash for the car. Phew no ticket, mind you they would have needed a boat by the looks of things. It was then that I remembered we still had a hole in our kitchen roof. Oh joy, the bucket easily fills about a quarter just when its a shower and... Oh no we cannot flood downstairs again! That does it, my friend will have to wait; if need be he can celebrate his news of a second job interview alone, I had a leak to stop. Driving back home it was like driving through a lake, there was water jetting out of manhole covers like fountains and people walking along the pavement where in some parts the water was half way up their shins.
I got home and dashed up stairs, my feet slipping and sliding in my now soaking flip-flops to find... Nothing out of the ordinary it was like it hadn't rained at all here.
Now its all over and you would hardly know it happened at all apart from the shops with sandbags in front of their doors.
(Edit - 26/05/09 - it should be mentioned that I was having a break from emplyment at the time. Hence the toast diet. )
So thats how I found myself out in Beckenham paying the council tax and stuff, you know, the chores on the list I had woken up to find next to my face, thanks Nik. Well it looked nice out, it was sunny and hot, and I mean baking! The flat was always so sauna-like so I thought I'd get the list done and out of the way as well. The sky was blue with not a cloud in sight when I popped into Sainsbury's to get a few bits; however, when I came out the heavens had opened and it was absolutely bucketing down and I'm talking rivers in the road, thunder and lightening type of rain here. So there I was sheltering from the downpour with about half a dozen other slightly damp shoppers just outside of Sainsbury's, wishing I had in fact parked in the Sainsbury's car park instead of in the high street parking space (at the time it had been crucial to my carefully laid out shopping route so as to avoid unnecessary walking to and fro). I looked out towards the car, it wasn't far, just about fifty meters or so maybe I could run for it? More people joined us and it was clear that even a couple of seconds was enough to soak them not to mention I would probably fall over in my stupid flip-flops. No I would have to wait out the worst of it like everyone else, trouble was that I only had a few minutes before the parking meter ran out and I was supposed to be meeting a friend for lunch just down the road. The dilemma was actually a point of excitement for me, after all I had been in the house for months now with only a handful of ventures out into the wildlands of Beckenham. Well that did it, it was decided, I was going to make a dash for it!
Then all of a sudden, there was a flash and the loudest bang I have ever heard (it sounded like a bomb!), and the chimney on the building next to us exploded! I made it all of about 5 yards out of the shelter and turned back, bits of masonry falling around me, people screaming, bullets shrieking over head... Well ok so there may not have been anyone shooting but I had just been watching Saving Private Ryan again that morning remember and the similarity in my mind was uncanny!
Anyway, the lightening had struck not 20 feet away hitting the chimney (which really did explode) and not only that but the power of it also made the little children's pay for a ride on the plastic horse thing start by itself... spooky! So we are all standing there nervously laughing with bits of chimney falling around us, the plastic horse galloping on the spot with no rider and a river passing by in front of us. Surely only the most efficient of parking wardens would be out in that wouldn't they? I had no choice but to clutch my shopping and press my back against the cash machine so as to avoid the water blowing in and wait it out.
Eventually it subsided a little so I made that dash for the car. Phew no ticket, mind you they would have needed a boat by the looks of things. It was then that I remembered we still had a hole in our kitchen roof. Oh joy, the bucket easily fills about a quarter just when its a shower and... Oh no we cannot flood downstairs again! That does it, my friend will have to wait; if need be he can celebrate his news of a second job interview alone, I had a leak to stop. Driving back home it was like driving through a lake, there was water jetting out of manhole covers like fountains and people walking along the pavement where in some parts the water was half way up their shins.
I got home and dashed up stairs, my feet slipping and sliding in my now soaking flip-flops to find... Nothing out of the ordinary it was like it hadn't rained at all here.
Now its all over and you would hardly know it happened at all apart from the shops with sandbags in front of their doors.
Friday, May 13, 2005
It's Bad Luck you know -- Friday the 13th
Just realised it's Friday the 13th today!!!
Interestingly the French consider Friday 13th to be a lucky day. I wonder if there is some common point in our joint histories in which Friday the 13th favoured the French whilst we suffered in some way?
Interestingly the French consider Friday 13th to be a lucky day. I wonder if there is some common point in our joint histories in which Friday the 13th favoured the French whilst we suffered in some way?
"Lion King was a rip-off"
Did Disney steal the story for its animated smash from a 1960s Japanese TV show?
Craig Andersen certainly thinks so, and his shot-by-shot analysis comparing Lion King to animated classic "Kimba The White Lion" makes it look like barefaced corporate plagiarism too. Huzzah!
http://www.kimbawlion.com/rant2.htm
Craig Andersen certainly thinks so, and his shot-by-shot analysis comparing Lion King to animated classic "Kimba The White Lion" makes it look like barefaced corporate plagiarism too. Huzzah!
http://www.kimbawlion.com/rant2.htm
PHEW! Been a long time!
Good lord! It's 2005! and almost halfway through it as well!!!
Well as you may have noticed it's been some time since my last post, things have been hectic and my usual place for putting some time aside to write a few words on here (the office) has been usurped with nasty work type things! Outrageous!
So whats been happening, well there has been some sad moments and some fun moments and some sad moments that were fun and some fun moments that were actually quite sad. I've met some funny people that I thought were quite sad and some sad people that were really quite funny. I've met some people that I knew and some people that I didn't know. I've met some people that I thought I knew but didnt and some people that I thought I didn't know but embarressingly apparently I did and I've met some people that I thought I didn't know but then realised I did but they didn't know me...
Recently (ish), in a Blues Brothers type of way, we got the band back together! Now this is the first band I ever played in and it consists in it's current form of Neil Weavers on bass guitar, Clayton McKensie on drums and myself on guitar and lead vocals. This time round we are having a great time and it's really coming together, with two songs almost completed we are looking forward to gigs in smokey back rooms on the Camden Town pub circuit! We are writing all our own material which is both exciting and frustrating and before you ask, no I am not going to give you a sneak preview until I have something concrete!
Also the we have been designing t-shirts for what we hope will be our own label. They are currently only available as transfers but there are plans to get them screen-printed if we receive enough interest. I will update later with details on where you can see the designs when they are available! I'm already wearing several of them though obviously not all at once!
Well as you may have noticed it's been some time since my last post, things have been hectic and my usual place for putting some time aside to write a few words on here (the office) has been usurped with nasty work type things! Outrageous!
So whats been happening, well there has been some sad moments and some fun moments and some sad moments that were fun and some fun moments that were actually quite sad. I've met some funny people that I thought were quite sad and some sad people that were really quite funny. I've met some people that I knew and some people that I didn't know. I've met some people that I thought I knew but didnt and some people that I thought I didn't know but embarressingly apparently I did and I've met some people that I thought I didn't know but then realised I did but they didn't know me...
Recently (ish), in a Blues Brothers type of way, we got the band back together! Now this is the first band I ever played in and it consists in it's current form of Neil Weavers on bass guitar, Clayton McKensie on drums and myself on guitar and lead vocals. This time round we are having a great time and it's really coming together, with two songs almost completed we are looking forward to gigs in smokey back rooms on the Camden Town pub circuit! We are writing all our own material which is both exciting and frustrating and before you ask, no I am not going to give you a sneak preview until I have something concrete!
Also the we have been designing t-shirts for what we hope will be our own label. They are currently only available as transfers but there are plans to get them screen-printed if we receive enough interest. I will update later with details on where you can see the designs when they are available! I'm already wearing several of them though obviously not all at once!
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Coming of Age....
Well how did that happen?
I'm sat here on the final day Ill ever be twenty something wondering what the hell just happened to the last decade; trying to decide whether I should just push back that list of things I was supposed to have done by now or write them off completely as a lost cause. Of course there are some things that are just unobcheivable now, like having a salary that equaled a certain amount by the time I'm 30 for instance, unless by some miracle I'm given an enormous pay rise over the weekend!
What's strange is that I really don't feel like an adult, most of my friends all seem much more "adult" than I and of course like any good middle class public schoolboy I like to fit in with crowd so I'm nodding my head and wracking my brain for the last time I watched the news. I can't help feeling like I'm still only a teenager, I mean surely it was only the other day that I was 17 and foolishly acting the rebel? Wasn't it? 13 years ago you say? Well nothing has changed, well except for the need to earn cash to pay the bills, and of course money to go on holiday, oh and don't forget that new coffee machine you wanted or that 32" television... Oh and about the most rebelious I get these days is...gasp... not wearing a suit to work! No surely not! the horror! I know, your shocked arnt you? Your finding it hard to go on with such depraivety....Ahem....Not really sure where I'm going with that line of thought, probably best I cut it off there!
Still you've got to ask yourself... A good whisky matures in an oak casket.... Maybe it's the same for us except we don't get in a casket until the very end.
Oh my god what have I written.... You see I'm only 29 and 364 days old and already I'm rambling, but then that's what the blog's called after all!
I'm sat here on the final day Ill ever be twenty something wondering what the hell just happened to the last decade; trying to decide whether I should just push back that list of things I was supposed to have done by now or write them off completely as a lost cause. Of course there are some things that are just unobcheivable now, like having a salary that equaled a certain amount by the time I'm 30 for instance, unless by some miracle I'm given an enormous pay rise over the weekend!
What's strange is that I really don't feel like an adult, most of my friends all seem much more "adult" than I and of course like any good middle class public schoolboy I like to fit in with crowd so I'm nodding my head and wracking my brain for the last time I watched the news. I can't help feeling like I'm still only a teenager, I mean surely it was only the other day that I was 17 and foolishly acting the rebel? Wasn't it? 13 years ago you say? Well nothing has changed, well except for the need to earn cash to pay the bills, and of course money to go on holiday, oh and don't forget that new coffee machine you wanted or that 32" television... Oh and about the most rebelious I get these days is...gasp... not wearing a suit to work! No surely not! the horror! I know, your shocked arnt you? Your finding it hard to go on with such depraivety....Ahem....Not really sure where I'm going with that line of thought, probably best I cut it off there!
Still you've got to ask yourself... A good whisky matures in an oak casket.... Maybe it's the same for us except we don't get in a casket until the very end.
Oh my god what have I written.... You see I'm only 29 and 364 days old and already I'm rambling, but then that's what the blog's called after all!
Friday, November 12, 2004
Living in France
For those of you who like the whole "A year in Provence" books and re-location abroad shows on the t.v, have a look at this lady's blogg; she has been living in France for the last 15 years and it takes a look at her daily life.
http://www.petiteanglaise.com/
http://www.petiteanglaise.com/
Bad bad joke
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other bloke whips out his phone and calls the emergency services."My friend is dead what can I do?," he gasps. "Calm down, I can help," the operator says. "First, let's make sure he's dead.".........Silence...... then a shot. "Okay, now what?"
Just what every self respecting disco needs
Buy a urinal screen that lights up and plays a "prerecorded sound of your choice" when...wet...ahem.
http://www.wizmark.com/voices.htm
http://www.wizmark.com/voices.htm
An Angry American....
Surely not I hear you cry, but yes this guy has all but decided that a new civil war is coming by the sounds of it...
http://www.fuckthesouth.com/
It's all in the title I guess.
http://www.fuckthesouth.com/
It's all in the title I guess.
Suicide is Painful (if you do it right, that is)
The suicide rate in Britain has dropped to its lowest level since WWII: just 84 people per million. The reason, according to the Economist, is that it's now much harder to top yourself. The head-in-oven trick hasn't worked since toxic coal gas was replaced by natural gas in the 70s. The latest catalytic converters mean that the car-in-garage solution takes far too long. And even the time-honoured method of downing hundreds of pills is too fiddly now that they come in those pesky blister packs. The result? Depressed people now have to kill themselves by parking their cars on railway tracks, which causes inconvenience (and death) to the rest of us. Poor Eurostar even had to cancel its hugely expensive 10th birthday party this week because of it.
Heyho...
Heyho...
Thursday, October 28, 2004
The Masala Saga
An interesting Theory! An American magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit new scientific theories on ANY subject. Below is the winner:
(Subject: Perpetual Motion) When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.
......... and then this mail got this reply from one of the recipients:
I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats. Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet.
Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:
p = s * t(t) / t ,
where p is the probability of carpet impact, s is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet. Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is zero.t and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour. So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a p value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.
Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.
Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety, but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, it should be replaced by a monorail system powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Tube Announcements
A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction".
"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from elbow and backside syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
"Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and West Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."
"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologies for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now....'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall...'".
"We are now traveling through Baker Street, and as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".
"Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."
During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman. Unfortunately towels are not provided".
"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause...) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."
"Please a allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."
"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."
"We can't move off because some idiot has their f***ing hand stuck in the door"
"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"
"Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause.) Please move ALL belongings away from the doors (Pause...) This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train - put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways"
"May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage".
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction".
"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from elbow and backside syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
"Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and West Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."
"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologies for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now....'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall...'".
"We are now traveling through Baker Street, and as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".
"Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."
During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman. Unfortunately towels are not provided".
"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause...) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."
"Please a allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."
"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."
"We can't move off because some idiot has their f***ing hand stuck in the door"
"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"
"Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause.) Please move ALL belongings away from the doors (Pause...) This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train - put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways"
"May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage".
Anchor man
The Legend of Ron Burgandy:
Watched this the other night, it was pretty funny in a very silly way.
Interspersed with some truely bizarre moments. Full review in a couple of days at http://www.filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk
Watched this the other night, it was pretty funny in a very silly way.
Interspersed with some truely bizarre moments. Full review in a couple of days at http://www.filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk
Pilot Humour
The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.
1)A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."
2)The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.
So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."
3)While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.
Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
4)Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
1)A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."
2)The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.
So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."
3)While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.
Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
4)Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
Friday, October 01, 2004
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Been a long time.....
Sorry I have been rather slow of late.
Not only has work been so unbelievably hectic and stressfull, but I have been concentrating so much on my other site: http://filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk
It felt alot like repetition to be putting it here as well, so I have decided to try and seperate them, and give you all the occasional nudge to go and look there for things like movie reviews and so forth.
Me and my friends have been roleplaying and of late playing some Warhammer 40,000; perhaps inspired by the new computer game but still always a welcome respite from the normal working week! - My God I'm such a geek sometimes!
Always good to get away from it all even for only an evening, I'm almost inspired to paint some figures or for that matter actual painting! Alas almost inspired is where it is balanced at the moment as I always seem to be so tired I just can't muster the energy at the moment.
Amazingly Nikala and I realised we have been in the "new" flat for 2 years now and my recent visit to a friends new flat (moved in 1 month ago) has left me feeling rather shameful we are no nearer to finishing any of the grand DIY projects than we were all that time ago.... bah!
Still to paraphrase good old Forest Gump; "Lazy is as lazy does" or something like that, I'm sure you get the drift!
See you around soon all and rememebr go and visit my other site! http://filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk
Not only has work been so unbelievably hectic and stressfull, but I have been concentrating so much on my other site: http://filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk
It felt alot like repetition to be putting it here as well, so I have decided to try and seperate them, and give you all the occasional nudge to go and look there for things like movie reviews and so forth.
Me and my friends have been roleplaying and of late playing some Warhammer 40,000; perhaps inspired by the new computer game but still always a welcome respite from the normal working week! - My God I'm such a geek sometimes!
Always good to get away from it all even for only an evening, I'm almost inspired to paint some figures or for that matter actual painting! Alas almost inspired is where it is balanced at the moment as I always seem to be so tired I just can't muster the energy at the moment.
Amazingly Nikala and I realised we have been in the "new" flat for 2 years now and my recent visit to a friends new flat (moved in 1 month ago) has left me feeling rather shameful we are no nearer to finishing any of the grand DIY projects than we were all that time ago.... bah!
Still to paraphrase good old Forest Gump; "Lazy is as lazy does" or something like that, I'm sure you get the drift!
See you around soon all and rememebr go and visit my other site! http://filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk
Friday, August 13, 2004
New website is UP!
My new website is up and running, though still a "work in progress" please feel free to stop by and take a look. http://www.filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk
Most of my movie reviews will be posted there first, but if I get a decent enough response asking otherwise Ill continue to put them up here aswell.
There is a whole host of other stuff there also, so go and have a look!
Most of my movie reviews will be posted there first, but if I get a decent enough response asking otherwise Ill continue to put them up here aswell.
There is a whole host of other stuff there also, so go and have a look!
Funeral Songs
1) The Jam - Going Underground
2) The Quo - Head Down
3) Nelly - It's Getting Hot In Here
4) Tina Turner - Disco Inferno (burn baby burn)
5) Living in a Box - Living in a Box
6) The Doors - Light My Fire
7) Take That - Relight My Fire
8) Smoke gets in your eyes
My personal favorite is Living in a Box, think ill have that one playing at mine.... heheh
Do please send me a comment if you can think of any others!
2) The Quo - Head Down
3) Nelly - It's Getting Hot In Here
4) Tina Turner - Disco Inferno (burn baby burn)
5) Living in a Box - Living in a Box
6) The Doors - Light My Fire
7) Take That - Relight My Fire
8) Smoke gets in your eyes
My personal favorite is Living in a Box, think ill have that one playing at mine.... heheh
Do please send me a comment if you can think of any others!
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Slow to Post?
I know it seems as though I have been slack in the posting department recently but i have a very good reason...
I have been completely re-writing my own webpage www.filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk so look out for it, it will be up and running soon, and of course I'll keep you posted on any new movies I feel deserve a review, good or (frequently,very) bad.
I have been completely re-writing my own webpage www.filthyevilmidgetmonkeyman.co.uk so look out for it, it will be up and running soon, and of course I'll keep you posted on any new movies I feel deserve a review, good or (frequently,very) bad.
Desert Island Disks, canoe building and William Shatner
When George Clooney was asked on Radio Four's Desert Island Disks why he'd chosen William Shatner's Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. George replied "because if I were stuck on an island with this song, I would fashion a canoe out of my own leg to get myself off the island".
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Movie Review: Around the World In 80 Days
Swapping a globe-hopping epic for a Jackie Chan action comedy is a bit of a let-down. Yes, it's mindlessly enjoyable, but the storyline is reduced to a series of scenes that merely link together a string of elaborately choreographed (by Chan) fight scenes. Some sequences are hilarious, others feature wacky cameos, and the filmmakers have fun recreating various international locales on a Berlin movie studio backlot. Digital trickery fills in the details and is mostly eye-catching, although the sparkly transition sequences are rather iffy to say the least.
Oh bring back Willie Fog the cartoon series, now that was cool!
Quote of the movie (and this does somewhat set the tone for the whole movie...):
“You had me at the nipples.”----The Steamer Captain (Mark Addy)
5/10 - Around the World in 80 Days
Oh bring back Willie Fog the cartoon series, now that was cool!
Quote of the movie (and this does somewhat set the tone for the whole movie...):
“You had me at the nipples.”----The Steamer Captain (Mark Addy)
5/10 - Around the World in 80 Days
Friday, July 09, 2004
Movie Review: Shrek 2
Wooooohooo!
I loved Shrek and couldn't wait for this movie!
Enjoyed this one immensely, as to be expected its not as good a movie as the first, but it still has plenty of laughs, the story is good, and the usual bunch of fairytale characters as we wouldnt usually see them!
This film is definately aimed at the more mature audience, a lot of jokes Im sure went way over the heads of the 1000's of children we shared the cinema with.
I wont say anymore here... just go and see it!
9/10 - Shrek 2
I loved Shrek and couldn't wait for this movie!
Enjoyed this one immensely, as to be expected its not as good a movie as the first, but it still has plenty of laughs, the story is good, and the usual bunch of fairytale characters as we wouldnt usually see them!
This film is definately aimed at the more mature audience, a lot of jokes Im sure went way over the heads of the 1000's of children we shared the cinema with.
I wont say anymore here... just go and see it!
9/10 - Shrek 2
Movie Review: Walking Tall
I wasn't sure what to expect from this movie starring ex-wrestler The Rock and Johnny Knoxville from Jackass. I did however enjoy The Rock (wonder when he will use his own name?) in his last film "Welcome to the Jungle" so I thought I'd give this one a shot.
and discovered a movie which was reasonably enjoyable. Sure its no great masterpiece and has a very simple format... basic action etc.
Reminds me very much of Arnie's early days.
5/10 - Walking Tall
A better movie of The Rock's is "Welcome to the Jungle" (6/10), both action and comedy are in this one, and a ok performance by King of New York - Christopher Walken as the big bad boss guy.
and discovered a movie which was reasonably enjoyable. Sure its no great masterpiece and has a very simple format... basic action etc.
Reminds me very much of Arnie's early days.
5/10 - Walking Tall
A better movie of The Rock's is "Welcome to the Jungle" (6/10), both action and comedy are in this one, and a ok performance by King of New York - Christopher Walken as the big bad boss guy.
Movie Review: The Punisher
I love this character, a great comic book antihero (or is a hero, not sure).
I wont go into to many details regarding his motivations and wot not as it would spoil it for the rest of you.
This movie adaptation is at best adequate, which is unfortunate to say the lesat. The action scenes arnt really up to the standards we have become accustomed to with movies of today, the effects are.. well there isnt a lot to go wrong with as its just explosions and the like so no complaints there. I think the problem is that it was all bit lackluster. By that I mean you never really feel that bad for him, and his vengeance never really heats up all that much. The result being a film which plods along to its inevitable conclusion, one that you know is coming almost from the end of the title sequence.
John Travolta's portrayal of the villain is pretty much sidelined and you cant help but feel he is there for his paycheque and not much else.
Basically I think they have made The Punisher way too nice and although Im not an advocate of violence for violence sake, this isnt violent enough... The Punisher was not a "nice" man, he was fundamentaly a good man that no longer beilieved in the justice system, but never a "nice" man.
Finally, this film couldnt make up its mind if it was going to be a comicbook super hero tale with super villain baddies or a serious action movie, it needs to be one or the other, not some strange amagamation of the two. By this i mean (possible movie spoiler) as an example, when the odd hitman known as The Russian arrives to kill Frank, well in the comic he is an indestructable insane genetically altered man, in the movie he looks identical, has the same comicbook name, even seems to be indestructable and impervious to pain. Then rsther abruptly he is defeated and no more is mentioned. I wouldnt have a problem with this but it felt so incongruous to the rest of the movie that it was just plain out of place and very wrong.
Anyway, its worth a look still, though I would wait for the DVD release.
5/10 for the movie
8/10 for the great website The Punisher
I wont go into to many details regarding his motivations and wot not as it would spoil it for the rest of you.
This movie adaptation is at best adequate, which is unfortunate to say the lesat. The action scenes arnt really up to the standards we have become accustomed to with movies of today, the effects are.. well there isnt a lot to go wrong with as its just explosions and the like so no complaints there. I think the problem is that it was all bit lackluster. By that I mean you never really feel that bad for him, and his vengeance never really heats up all that much. The result being a film which plods along to its inevitable conclusion, one that you know is coming almost from the end of the title sequence.
John Travolta's portrayal of the villain is pretty much sidelined and you cant help but feel he is there for his paycheque and not much else.
Basically I think they have made The Punisher way too nice and although Im not an advocate of violence for violence sake, this isnt violent enough... The Punisher was not a "nice" man, he was fundamentaly a good man that no longer beilieved in the justice system, but never a "nice" man.
Finally, this film couldnt make up its mind if it was going to be a comicbook super hero tale with super villain baddies or a serious action movie, it needs to be one or the other, not some strange amagamation of the two. By this i mean (possible movie spoiler) as an example, when the odd hitman known as The Russian arrives to kill Frank, well in the comic he is an indestructable insane genetically altered man, in the movie he looks identical, has the same comicbook name, even seems to be indestructable and impervious to pain. Then rsther abruptly he is defeated and no more is mentioned. I wouldnt have a problem with this but it felt so incongruous to the rest of the movie that it was just plain out of place and very wrong.
Anyway, its worth a look still, though I would wait for the DVD release.
5/10 for the movie
8/10 for the great website The Punisher
I am the son of Kirk douglas!!!
I came across this account about the son of one of Hollywood's much loved actors, I couldn't stop laughing, but if you dont know Kirk's movies this may pass over your head a little...
Eric (son of Kirk) Douglas, who died this week,
tried his hand at stand-up comedy back in the 80s.
He had some success in Las Vegas and brought his,
frankly dreadful, act to London. On the first
night Eric gets about two jokes in before the
heckling begins. Used to respect from audiences
because he was the son of one of America's best
loved actors Eric was surprised at the hostile
reaction. Eventually he snapped and screamed
"You can't treat me like this... I'm the son
of Kirk Douglas!"
After a very brief pause, a wag at the back of
the audience stood up and shouted "No! I'M the
son of Kirk Douglas"...then someone else stood up
and shouted "No! I'M the son of Kirk Douglas"
and so on. Eric left the stage in tears.
oh Im laughing again...my sides....my sides
*wipes tears from eyes....
I love the Sparticus movie, I wonder if he even realised the joke?!?
for those who don't get it have a look at this:
Sparticus
Eric (son of Kirk) Douglas, who died this week,
tried his hand at stand-up comedy back in the 80s.
He had some success in Las Vegas and brought his,
frankly dreadful, act to London. On the first
night Eric gets about two jokes in before the
heckling begins. Used to respect from audiences
because he was the son of one of America's best
loved actors Eric was surprised at the hostile
reaction. Eventually he snapped and screamed
"You can't treat me like this... I'm the son
of Kirk Douglas!"
After a very brief pause, a wag at the back of
the audience stood up and shouted "No! I'M the
son of Kirk Douglas"...then someone else stood up
and shouted "No! I'M the son of Kirk Douglas"
and so on. Eric left the stage in tears.
oh Im laughing again...my sides....my sides
*wipes tears from eyes....
I love the Sparticus movie, I wonder if he even realised the joke?!?
for those who don't get it have a look at this:
Sparticus
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Thats a whole lot of hole!
How many times have you thought to yourself: "I'm bored, i think I'll dig a giant hole in my garden." ?
No, am I all alone on this one? Apparently not...
The Hole
This man scares me a ever so slightly mind you...
No, am I all alone on this one? Apparently not...
The Hole
This man scares me a ever so slightly mind you...
Friday, June 18, 2004
How to tackle those non team players
Yes we have all had to work with them, the collegue thats not pulling their weight, the collegue that flaunts the office rules, the lazy, non recycler. But now there is hope for us, in the shape of Terry Tate, office linebacker...
Terry Tate, office Linebacker
Oh how I long to have him here...
*this site has since stopped working - I will try to locate the video's elsewhere so keep an eye out for them here*
Terry Tate, office Linebacker
Oh how I long to have him here...
*this site has since stopped working - I will try to locate the video's elsewhere so keep an eye out for them here*
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Good Job too! i was desperate!!!
Well never let it be said that the internet is not a strange place. This site is an online toilet... What? Yeah thats right an online conveniance, where you can read todays news or just browse the graffiti on the walls... Hey dont look at me, I didnt design it!!!
Online toilet
very strange...
Online toilet
very strange...
Just for streess monkeys out there!!
and yes that DOES include me!
Bubble wrap Fun!!!
What a great idea, though it still doesnt quite compare to the real thing, cant quite de-stress with the mouse!
Bubble wrap Fun!!!
What a great idea, though it still doesnt quite compare to the real thing, cant quite de-stress with the mouse!
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
It made my eyes bleed...
Van Helsing.....
If ever there was a case of a film that shouldnt have been made its this one!
Why oh why did they feel they had to cram in every single victorian monster story???
We had Jekyl and Hyde, Frankenstein, Dracula, Werewolves, Igor..... and for some insane reason Van Helpuke was allegedly the Angel Gabriel, though conveniantly he had forgotten that small fact.
Add to that the terrible script, awful plot, and dreadful special effects and you've got a film worthy of the nearest shredder.
A classic case of film makers relying to heavily on the special effects team, which in this case let them down catastrophicaly. It was, as a friend of mine commented;
"like watching a Hammer House of Horror movie on steroids!"
This movie goers advice is to miss it entirely.
If ever there was a case of a film that shouldnt have been made its this one!
Why oh why did they feel they had to cram in every single victorian monster story???
We had Jekyl and Hyde, Frankenstein, Dracula, Werewolves, Igor..... and for some insane reason Van Helpuke was allegedly the Angel Gabriel, though conveniantly he had forgotten that small fact.
Add to that the terrible script, awful plot, and dreadful special effects and you've got a film worthy of the nearest shredder.
A classic case of film makers relying to heavily on the special effects team, which in this case let them down catastrophicaly. It was, as a friend of mine commented;
"like watching a Hammer House of Horror movie on steroids!"
This movie goers advice is to miss it entirely.
Ansari X Prize: SpaceShipOne launches 21st June
Looks like we will have the world's first commercial space flight by
the end fo the month!!!
MOJAVE GEARS UP FOR HISTORIC SPACE FLIGHT
10 June 2004
The Mojave Airport in California is preparing for the thousands of
spectators that are expected to witness the world's first private
manned space flight there on June 21. X PRIZE team Scaled Composites plans to
launch one pilot aboard SpaceShipOne into space as a precursor for
future X PRIZE competitive flights.
"Landing SpaceShipOne safely is the number one issue on our mind," said Director Bob Rice to Space.com.
"We're dealing with parking locations right now. We can fit only so
many cars. We've got plans for everything. And yes, there will be T-shirts."
See for yourself at:
http://www.xprize.org/
the end fo the month!!!
MOJAVE GEARS UP FOR HISTORIC SPACE FLIGHT
10 June 2004
The Mojave Airport in California is preparing for the thousands of
spectators that are expected to witness the world's first private
manned space flight there on June 21. X PRIZE team Scaled Composites plans to
launch one pilot aboard SpaceShipOne into space as a precursor for
future X PRIZE competitive flights.
"Landing SpaceShipOne safely is the number one issue on our mind," said Director Bob Rice to Space.com.
"We're dealing with parking locations right now. We can fit only so
many cars. We've got plans for everything. And yes, there will be T-shirts."
See for yourself at:
http://www.xprize.org/
Strange comparisons...
Ok, so they are both planes and they both hurtle through the sky way to high and fast! But come on... really... Im fairly sure I know the differences between a glider and a fighter plane.
Perhaps the question should be is why oh why has this man devoted so much time in the pursuit of this comprehensive comparison.
There is one funny quote however:
"The F-14 can down multiple enemy aircraft from a perch in a different time zone and also perform a devastating ground attack, but it glides like a Coke machine and only comes in gray—factors that seriously limit its recreational soaring appeal."
Heheheh... have a read for yourself at: http://www.flyaboveall.com/willswing_grumman.htm
Perhaps the question should be is why oh why has this man devoted so much time in the pursuit of this comprehensive comparison.
There is one funny quote however:
"The F-14 can down multiple enemy aircraft from a perch in a different time zone and also perform a devastating ground attack, but it glides like a Coke machine and only comes in gray—factors that seriously limit its recreational soaring appeal."
Heheheh... have a read for yourself at: http://www.flyaboveall.com/willswing_grumman.htm
Friday, June 11, 2004
A sporting weekend!
Well what a lineup for the weekend... Im even quite excited myself and im no huge sports fan!
On Saterday morning: The 3rd and final game in the series against the All Blacks (New Zealand) in Rugby Union, if England win it will be the first time we have whitewashed the All Blacks since 1968!
Saterday daytime: Last of the Cricket Tests against New Zealand... We are currently up 2 -0
Sunday lunchtime: Grand Prix, can Jenson Button win his first Grand Prix? He is Currently 3rd in the championship.
Sunday evening: THE BIG ONE... England vs France in the European Championships. Englands first game in a bid to win Euro 2004.
Bookies William Hill are giving odds of 200-1 on a clean sweep and I must say Im tempted to put a fiver on it! What a return! £1000!!!!
Other than that we will be seeing our friends Mark and Sue, with whom we havent had a good old natter with for some time, so thats long over due. We may catch a movie though Im not sure whats out this weekend...
On Saterday morning: The 3rd and final game in the series against the All Blacks (New Zealand) in Rugby Union, if England win it will be the first time we have whitewashed the All Blacks since 1968!
Saterday daytime: Last of the Cricket Tests against New Zealand... We are currently up 2 -0
Sunday lunchtime: Grand Prix, can Jenson Button win his first Grand Prix? He is Currently 3rd in the championship.
Sunday evening: THE BIG ONE... England vs France in the European Championships. Englands first game in a bid to win Euro 2004.
Bookies William Hill are giving odds of 200-1 on a clean sweep and I must say Im tempted to put a fiver on it! What a return! £1000!!!!
Other than that we will be seeing our friends Mark and Sue, with whom we havent had a good old natter with for some time, so thats long over due. We may catch a movie though Im not sure whats out this weekend...
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Summer Games... Medals Won!
What a weekend!
We Rollerbladed over to a friends house at around 2pm on bank holiday Monday. I of course left them all in my dust and arrived 20 mins before anyone else!!! heheh amateurs!
Upon arrival we were immediately thrust into the afternoons games, which included the following:
Hoop Throwing (coits?)
Boules
Feed the Goat (Penalty shootout)
Giant lawn darts (stand well clear of Nikala during this one!)
Wine Tasting
Target Putting
Boules (doubles)
Hoop Throwing (doubles)
Then a huge BBQ... phew with around 30 people it was a long long day and the competition was fierce.
I am proud to say I did actually win the wine tasting competition but humbly stood aside for the other joint winner and ....sniff didn't even get a mention during the award ceremony... so I wont be letting anyone win again I can tell you, bah no recognition there! Not that Im bitter at all grrr!
Still I was able to redeem myself in the Boules. Sadly however it was doubles and I was carried most of the way... sigh.
All other events I was out in the first or second rounds, a pretty poor performance all round really. But at least I won the wine tasting! Even though no one else knew!
After a long and arduous day, we finally trudged home after 10pm... we had been competing for over 8 hours!
Still I have one medal hanging on my noticeboard now; the first I've ever had I might add.
We Rollerbladed over to a friends house at around 2pm on bank holiday Monday. I of course left them all in my dust and arrived 20 mins before anyone else!!! heheh amateurs!
Upon arrival we were immediately thrust into the afternoons games, which included the following:
Hoop Throwing (coits?)
Boules
Feed the Goat (Penalty shootout)
Giant lawn darts (stand well clear of Nikala during this one!)
Wine Tasting
Target Putting
Boules (doubles)
Hoop Throwing (doubles)
Then a huge BBQ... phew with around 30 people it was a long long day and the competition was fierce.
I am proud to say I did actually win the wine tasting competition but humbly stood aside for the other joint winner and ....sniff didn't even get a mention during the award ceremony... so I wont be letting anyone win again I can tell you, bah no recognition there! Not that Im bitter at all grrr!
Still I was able to redeem myself in the Boules. Sadly however it was doubles and I was carried most of the way... sigh.
All other events I was out in the first or second rounds, a pretty poor performance all round really. But at least I won the wine tasting! Even though no one else knew!
After a long and arduous day, we finally trudged home after 10pm... we had been competing for over 8 hours!
Still I have one medal hanging on my noticeboard now; the first I've ever had I might add.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Troy didnt fall in a day......it only took 2hrs 37 mins...
What a dissapointment!
Let me start at the beginning.
Infact thats a good place to start as it was looking ok at that point, exillerating first battle, no talking yet.
... and then the script started... Oh dear...
Such a shame, this tale is a favourite of mine byt the script was so flakey! Brad Pit's Achillies was so 1 dimensional and his portrayal of him wooden to the extreme, I thought he would get washed away witht the tide! Ahh well...
The action was good and the effects fantastic, I just found myself tapping my feet and drumming my fingers waiting for the next battle, which i thought was a shame, especially seeing as there was a lot of rubbish inbetween...
Quite possibly Brad Pit's worst ever role, though I really don't blame him for the poor script he had to work with.
Eric Bana's Hector wasn't bad, and in what could have been an interseting twist to the classic tale, it was told as if the Greeks were the bad guys, which if done right would have been refreshing, as we all know the story from Homer to be pretty pro Greek, too bad they couldnt really carry it off.
The film also leaves out the mystical side of the tale, well the Gods are still mentioned of course, but make no appearances; again a good idea as it tried to focus more on the people involved. REPEAT..... TRIED.
Intersting aside...
During the last weeks of filming the huge set of the Walls of Troy was struck by a hurricane, totaly destroying it. The whole thing had to be rebuilt from scratch for the last fight scene between Hector and Achillies.
Let me start at the beginning.
Infact thats a good place to start as it was looking ok at that point, exillerating first battle, no talking yet.
... and then the script started... Oh dear...
Such a shame, this tale is a favourite of mine byt the script was so flakey! Brad Pit's Achillies was so 1 dimensional and his portrayal of him wooden to the extreme, I thought he would get washed away witht the tide! Ahh well...
The action was good and the effects fantastic, I just found myself tapping my feet and drumming my fingers waiting for the next battle, which i thought was a shame, especially seeing as there was a lot of rubbish inbetween...
Quite possibly Brad Pit's worst ever role, though I really don't blame him for the poor script he had to work with.
Eric Bana's Hector wasn't bad, and in what could have been an interseting twist to the classic tale, it was told as if the Greeks were the bad guys, which if done right would have been refreshing, as we all know the story from Homer to be pretty pro Greek, too bad they couldnt really carry it off.
The film also leaves out the mystical side of the tale, well the Gods are still mentioned of course, but make no appearances; again a good idea as it tried to focus more on the people involved. REPEAT..... TRIED.
Intersting aside...
During the last weeks of filming the huge set of the Walls of Troy was struck by a hurricane, totaly destroying it. The whole thing had to be rebuilt from scratch for the last fight scene between Hector and Achillies.
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Deus Ex Machina
I thought Id post this up as for some reason this has been cropping up in conversations recently and Ive never really known the full meaning for it.
In some ancient Greek drama, an apparently insoluble crisis was solved by the intervention of a god, often brought on stage by an elaborate piece of equipment. This "god from the machine" was literally a deus ex machina.
Few modern works feature deities suspended by wires from the ceiling, but the term deus ex machina is still used for cases where an author uses some improbable (and often clumsy) plot device to work his or her way out of a difficult situation. When the cavalry comes charging over the hill or when the impoverished hero is relieved by an unexpected inheritance, it's often called a deus ex machina.
So there you go... not just a computer game heheh
In some ancient Greek drama, an apparently insoluble crisis was solved by the intervention of a god, often brought on stage by an elaborate piece of equipment. This "god from the machine" was literally a deus ex machina.
Few modern works feature deities suspended by wires from the ceiling, but the term deus ex machina is still used for cases where an author uses some improbable (and often clumsy) plot device to work his or her way out of a difficult situation. When the cavalry comes charging over the hill or when the impoverished hero is relieved by an unexpected inheritance, it's often called a deus ex machina.
So there you go... not just a computer game heheh
Monday, May 17, 2004
Ooh this just in....Star Wars
Hmm Star Wars seems to be in almost every conversation I have at the moment in some form or other but, I read this morning that the new film's title has been announced.
"Birth of the Empire"
Though how much truth there is in that, who knows. I did after all only read it in the Sun over the shoulder of someone on the bus this morning, shortly before a rather pretentious schoolgirl fell over her own oversized bag and sprawled face down along the aisle! I had to bite my lip not to laugh, am I wicked? Oh she wasnt hurt, just terribly embarressed!!!
"Birth of the Empire"
Though how much truth there is in that, who knows. I did after all only read it in the Sun over the shoulder of someone on the bus this morning, shortly before a rather pretentious schoolgirl fell over her own oversized bag and sprawled face down along the aisle! I had to bite my lip not to laugh, am I wicked? Oh she wasnt hurt, just terribly embarressed!!!
The Weekend...
This weekend went to visit mum and co. Didnt see much of my sister Claudie as she is now working in a bar in Oxford which takes up a lot of her time... horrid, rememebr it well! However I did get to play lots of Playstation 2 games with my brother Gabriel, which was great fun.
Unfortuantely their Arga had died so it was cold food and pub lunch for us!
When we got home on sunday, we popped over to say hi to Nikala's mum who is over from France and staying with Nikala's brother Aaron down the road. It was good to see her and catch up then we watched Shaun of the Dead.... Extremely funny! barely stopped laughing... loved it when the enraged girlfriend is battering zombies with the leg of her boyfriend (or is that something only i would find funny?)
Sore thoat now....grrr think its brought onby the cursed hayfever -- damn pollen everywhere!
Unfortuantely their Arga had died so it was cold food and pub lunch for us!
When we got home on sunday, we popped over to say hi to Nikala's mum who is over from France and staying with Nikala's brother Aaron down the road. It was good to see her and catch up then we watched Shaun of the Dead.... Extremely funny! barely stopped laughing... loved it when the enraged girlfriend is battering zombies with the leg of her boyfriend (or is that something only i would find funny?)
Sore thoat now....grrr think its brought onby the cursed hayfever -- damn pollen everywhere!
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Blogging a facelift...
Well it seems as though the site has been nicely updated, and so not to fall behind the rest of the community (or at least Mark!) i will be giving this page a facelift in the near future!
Back From the east of Middle!
Wow!
Even now I am still stunned!
Wow! and incase I didnt get that across already... wow!
Nikala and I have returned from Dubai to miserable old grey England...how depressing! We have only just bcome acustomed to the 43 degrees Centigrade that we had out there!
Yes thats right! 43 degrees!!! My god it was hot hot hot!
And the service... wow!
Until we had to leave Dubai, the last time either of us had to carry our luggage was when we checked in at Gatwick Airport, after that someone was always there to help, and although there were times we tried to protest and do something for ourselves, the locals were horrified and wouldnt let us. It was a very strange experience. Even the man polishing the floor was all smiles and full of greetings and wishes for a good health etc. and unlike the USA it really seemed to be a genuine question there.
The rooms were fabulous, bigger than our flat and thrice as luxurious -- the bathroom was bigger than our living room and all marble! We had a view of palm trees, sand and the ocean from our balcony... it was an awe inspiring sight and we now feel totaly spoilt.
For those of you like us, to whom food is of great import, the choice was immense... the breakfast alone had so much to choose from that Nikala and I often found ourselves going back for seconds, thirds and on one particularly piggy occaision fourths... didnt feel to well after that!
On saterday we went on the Dune Safari, which consisted of tearing down the almost empty highways at a collossal 190 KPH !!! quite scary! then going off road rocketing up huge sand dunes and sliding down the other side until we eventually reached a campsite in the middle of the desert... (I must say even my usualy ironclad stomach was feeling a little quesy.)
... where we were entertained by a belly dancer and had some traditional Arabian tucker (kebabs and salad heheheh) There was also a lady giving henna prints, Nikala got a butterfly on her hip and ive been cursed with some monstosity that looks somewhat like a wonky bat on my arm!
On our last day, we went to the souks (not sure how you spell it) which are essentaily markets. There are two main ones, the first of which is the gold souk. Its truely an incredible site if a little gaudy... There are close to 300 shops all of which have thousands of rings, bracelets and necklesses in, and to give you an idea of the wealth there... just one of those rings was worth 300,000 US$ ... jaw dropping.
However it was a touch "bling bling" for us...
... and so, we trundled over to the spice souk, and wow!, you have never seen so much stuff! and the smell! i loved it so we were in there bartering and haggling away... didnt actually buy much but it was fun!
Now, I know how expensive saffron is, and if im not mistaken its more expensive by weight than anything else... well there were sacks and sacks and sacks of the stuff all over the place, we bought 10 grams for 20 DHS which is about £3, i think you pay about the same over here for 2 or 3 strands!
Unfortunately the week was over and we were soon to be returning, and as if on que, Nikala suffered from nast painful food poisoning, which spoilt an otherwise great trip; i was glad I had avoided it...
On the plane on the way home... I realised I hadn't... wasnt a fun 7 hours.
Here are some links to the hotels we stayed at...
Royal Mirage
and the not as nice Grand Hyatt
and finaly the souks
Even now I am still stunned!
Wow! and incase I didnt get that across already... wow!
Nikala and I have returned from Dubai to miserable old grey England...how depressing! We have only just bcome acustomed to the 43 degrees Centigrade that we had out there!
Yes thats right! 43 degrees!!! My god it was hot hot hot!
And the service... wow!
Until we had to leave Dubai, the last time either of us had to carry our luggage was when we checked in at Gatwick Airport, after that someone was always there to help, and although there were times we tried to protest and do something for ourselves, the locals were horrified and wouldnt let us. It was a very strange experience. Even the man polishing the floor was all smiles and full of greetings and wishes for a good health etc. and unlike the USA it really seemed to be a genuine question there.
The rooms were fabulous, bigger than our flat and thrice as luxurious -- the bathroom was bigger than our living room and all marble! We had a view of palm trees, sand and the ocean from our balcony... it was an awe inspiring sight and we now feel totaly spoilt.
For those of you like us, to whom food is of great import, the choice was immense... the breakfast alone had so much to choose from that Nikala and I often found ourselves going back for seconds, thirds and on one particularly piggy occaision fourths... didnt feel to well after that!
On saterday we went on the Dune Safari, which consisted of tearing down the almost empty highways at a collossal 190 KPH !!! quite scary! then going off road rocketing up huge sand dunes and sliding down the other side until we eventually reached a campsite in the middle of the desert... (I must say even my usualy ironclad stomach was feeling a little quesy.)
... where we were entertained by a belly dancer and had some traditional Arabian tucker (kebabs and salad heheheh) There was also a lady giving henna prints, Nikala got a butterfly on her hip and ive been cursed with some monstosity that looks somewhat like a wonky bat on my arm!
On our last day, we went to the souks (not sure how you spell it) which are essentaily markets. There are two main ones, the first of which is the gold souk. Its truely an incredible site if a little gaudy... There are close to 300 shops all of which have thousands of rings, bracelets and necklesses in, and to give you an idea of the wealth there... just one of those rings was worth 300,000 US$ ... jaw dropping.
However it was a touch "bling bling" for us...
... and so, we trundled over to the spice souk, and wow!, you have never seen so much stuff! and the smell! i loved it so we were in there bartering and haggling away... didnt actually buy much but it was fun!
Now, I know how expensive saffron is, and if im not mistaken its more expensive by weight than anything else... well there were sacks and sacks and sacks of the stuff all over the place, we bought 10 grams for 20 DHS which is about £3, i think you pay about the same over here for 2 or 3 strands!
Unfortunately the week was over and we were soon to be returning, and as if on que, Nikala suffered from nast painful food poisoning, which spoilt an otherwise great trip; i was glad I had avoided it...
On the plane on the way home... I realised I hadn't... wasnt a fun 7 hours.
Here are some links to the hotels we stayed at...
Royal Mirage
and the not as nice Grand Hyatt
and finaly the souks
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Years in the Desert
Goodness me, after many years of roleplaying starvation after I left school, i now seem to be doing more and more and more!
Thats not to say this is all recent of course! Infact the first oasis (to labour the metaphor) sprang up from my job at Games Workshop, unsurprisingly I met quite a few like-minded people there heheh. Indeed two of them were customers and now very good friends, so thankyou hugely to Mark and Kevin for the ongoing roleplaying group, without which I would have gone mad for sure...lost to the monkeys probably, cursed things!
But I have recently been playing Star Wars Galaxies online, and found a great roleplaying community there, not interested in the usual hack and slash that goes on, they have developed a huge following from all over the world! It is a roleplaying experiance not to be missed and I highly recommend it. The links to this great group can be found up the top of the page in the links section.
Now lastly, my good old buddies from school have re-united the old roleplaying group, playing the game that staryed it all for us....Shadowrun! WOoooOOooo! how cool is that?!?!?! We have yet to actually do anything other than drink some beer and role up character or two, so same as normal then heheh.
This is great, now my week is full of roleplaying, I love it! Though my head is full of backgrounds and histories and beliefs and names, and temperaments and aims and goals for so many different characters now... but fear not, the monkeyman is still here!
See ya around...
Thats not to say this is all recent of course! Infact the first oasis (to labour the metaphor) sprang up from my job at Games Workshop, unsurprisingly I met quite a few like-minded people there heheh. Indeed two of them were customers and now very good friends, so thankyou hugely to Mark and Kevin for the ongoing roleplaying group, without which I would have gone mad for sure...lost to the monkeys probably, cursed things!
But I have recently been playing Star Wars Galaxies online, and found a great roleplaying community there, not interested in the usual hack and slash that goes on, they have developed a huge following from all over the world! It is a roleplaying experiance not to be missed and I highly recommend it. The links to this great group can be found up the top of the page in the links section.
Now lastly, my good old buddies from school have re-united the old roleplaying group, playing the game that staryed it all for us....Shadowrun! WOoooOOooo! how cool is that?!?!?! We have yet to actually do anything other than drink some beer and role up character or two, so same as normal then heheh
This is great, now my week is full of roleplaying, I love it! Though my head is full of backgrounds and histories and beliefs and names, and temperaments and aims and goals for so many different characters now... but fear not, the monkeyman is still here!
See ya around...
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